Remembering Matthew Shepard

On Monday October 12 1998, as most of Canada was dreaming about the Thanksgiving supper they had either just eaten, or were planning to eat, the Shepard family had little to give thanks for. In a moment that would seem ripped from a horror novel, they were faced with the reality that their son Matthew had died as the result of injuries sustained during a vicious attack by a couple of all too human monsters.

At 12:53am Matthew's heart stopped and he was pronounced dead in the hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado. How did a bright, friendly 21 year old man end up in such a state? Simply, he was brutally assaulted and left for dead, apparently for 2 simple reasons. Robbery and because he was gay. His attackers allegedly lured him out of a bar, using his sexuality as a tool, then robbed, pistol-whipped, burned and beat him. They left him tied to a fence-post to die on a near freezing night, even taking his shoes so he couldn't walk away.

Did I know Matthew? No. Did I know his family? No. Does that matter? No. I'm not one to jump on bandwagons going by. I usually keep to myself and let world events pass me by, but for some reason, this particular crime caught me. I was saddened by the loneliness of it, enraged by the senselessness of it, and touched by the out-pouring of support, from common people to President Clinton.
How did it touch me? As a person first. This kind of atrocity should never be brought upon a person. Matthew's suffering will remain unknown to us, mercifully. But the suffering and pain his family will imagine for him will be unbearable. A comment I read regarding his death said the following (paraphrased): "A good son to the end, Matthew spared his family the choice of removing his life support." A comment and perspective that paints a picture of the man Matthew was.

I'll never know if it's true, but I'll hold him in that light. As a person with a compassionate soul (I think), I couldn't help but feel for Matthew's suffering, his family's loss, and his friends pain. This personal/human connection is quite removed from my empathy as a gay person.

Yes, the spectre of homophobic violence looms in the back of my mind. Is it a large fear? No, but one wonders why it need exist at all. One report on Hate Crimes recently suggested that they've existed as long as there have been people, and will continue regardless. A sad fact of human nature that one of the first emotions we probably demonstrated to another human was hate, perhaps even before love. Hate Crimes are any crime perpetrated for a specific reason growing out of hate. Race, creed, colour, religion, sexuality and even age can be catalysts for these heinous crimes.

A quick look at our history tells us they're not new. My connection to Matthew through a shared sexuality seems tenuous. I didn't know Matthew but I do know someone who was "gay-bashed" at one time and although we've barely spoken of it, I wonder what that must be like. To be attacked for who you are. Not a choice you have made, or an action you have taken but simply for being. In my mind, it's an inconceivable thought.

My only complaint about this so far is that certain members of the gay community are attempting to hold Matthew up as a martyr for their causes. While there is little doubt in my mind that Matthew was assaulted primarily for being gay, a fact he hid from no one, I'm not sure that anyone would want to become a martyr like this. To me, a martyr is someone who works their whole life through for a cause and in the end dies for it. While Matthew perhaps was working toward gay rights and equality, he certainly didn't intend to die for the cause. Maybe that's what makes his death seem to qualify to these people.