Wednesday, November 30, 2005

incidently, i do care


November ends. The winds turn cold.
Hands freeze and its not just the tip of my nose that's turned blue
Somehow, today, the chill has settled deeper
My very insides feel clammy, sick, sluggish...

Reason: it's that time of the year again The First of December... World AIDS Day...

There's going to be a whole lot of stuff floating around on the media tomorrow.. about AIDS about HIV and there's going to be the flurry of celebrity whirls, the usual breast beating and moaning about how this pandemic is stalking more people.

This whole idea of high risk populations... this is the most discriminatory and prejudice instilling notion that's still being touted. For heaven's sake, there are no high risk populations, just high risk behaviour, and high risk practices.

An HIV infection isn't the end of life, a person who is infected with HIV isn't a risk to the general population, the general population is more liable to be dangerous to the positive person... after all, it's we who are roaming around with all the possible infections that could affect him or her!

On this day, what all of us to do is break the silence, and start enabling our friends to live life fully.

Monday, November 28, 2005

hello... all india radio?

Hello? Okay, My name's Kris and yeah, so it's greatt-a to be finally included in your phone in programme, aFTER YOU KEPT ME ON HOLD FOR THE LAST TEN MINUTES, chatting up some dame, but never mind that.


Didja tell ya that ya have a real sexy voice, dude?
Ya... I kinda know the name of your show is Live Wire on fm rainbow...

message?
Ya you bet i have a message , bud
This message goes outta for my- uh -significant other
Daniello... yes, that's right Daniello
Ya? Am I Italiano? naah, just gotta this accento from watching too many
Godfather movies...

Which reminds me about the message , dude... yaah.. to my boyfriend Daniello
ya his papa works at de Italian embassy as an attache-case
ya, he's pretty mad at me... you know why??
'cos I kinda criticised his mother's meatballs

Ya? Of course he's listening, he always listens to your programme
in the hope you'll play that Ricky Martin stuff... that Vida Loca loco song

Whaddya mean...hey, what do you straights know about how complicated
our Gay relationships are... daniello hasn't spoken a word to me ever since I said
his mother's meatballs had too much pepper...

Okay Daniello, I know you're listenin'
an' I didn't mean to knock your muddah's meatballs
but you know she hates me...
why else whould she say stuff like, 'my Daniello likes real thick noodles???'

Anyway, so dis is my message to ya
I'm a sorry, and i'm a waitin for you to call
Or at least return my black leotards....





Sunday, November 27, 2005

MY DAY ... SUCKED





DELHI: a few days ago: FIRST.... I am in a hurry to go to return a video CD which I received in damaged condition... I have to go to Connaught Place via the celebrated Delhi Metro, so Ravi [ a friend] will drop me at Vishwa Vidyalaya station which is about 12 kilometres away from the place I'm camping in... now we have a very tight schedule and the guy is yelling let's get started already... or something like that in the vernacular... now the fellow is in such a tearing hurry that he doesn't notice he's parked his bike JUST next to a pile of GOBAR [a steaming pile of cow shit] ...... where my SHOE had to go to near there to climb up... and I come rushing out of the house and STEPPED right into into the shit... ugh... my beautiful hand-crafted cowboy boot made for me by that great master Lee was covered with cow-turd first thing in the bloody morning and i had to get that cleaned up... which was not so simple considering my shack is on the first floor and the landlady's daughter had just cleaned up the entrance and the stairs nice and shining....

NEXT... at the Metro ticket counter at 9:30 during the rush hour, my stupid wallet [new, by the way, genuine leather from Pakistan bought at the much hyped International Trade fair at Delhi for what i privately consider a rather inflated sum ...but what the hell, with everybody trying to do their bit smoothing out India-Pakistan relations, I suppose I just had to contribute to the general mood, even though I'd probably get a fancier piece at the local tannery ... no pun intended I swear...]... now this bloody wallet gets caught in the back of my pants pocket and i have to spend more than five minutes try to extricate it and in the bargain strike some very embarrassing positions in front of the cute metrosexual chappie whose counter i usually buy tickets from, much to my extreme consternation and the obvious delight of the several smirking members of the Delhi University population !!!

As If that's not enough, when I alight at the Rajiv Chowk station and am going through the automatic gates, some kid has messed up the touch panel just before me, so when I put my coin inside, it gets stuck and sets off alram bells that shrill, trill, clang, scream, ululate, and generally serve to have the bloody Delhi security forces come charging towards me wireless sets at the ready and hands on guns at the hip as though I'm some terrorist... and everyone staring... the metro staff discovered the problem, then escorted me to a special gate which they had to open with a lock.... and there was sheepish me trying to appear non-chalant ...and feeling like the perfect ass.

NOW, the shop.. the Music World outlet near the Plaza Cinema...that i have to visit does not open at 10 am... not at 10:15...not at 10:30... not at 11 am... finally it opens at 11:30 am... and I have to hang around that area for sooo long... that the mobile police wallahs start eyeing me suspiciously and the buxom, barrel- bosomed punjabi grand-mother types start reaching for the chilli powder in their handbags 'cos they're always on the lookout for middle-aged perverts who hang around to leer at their nubile daughters-in-law... anyway... I was sort of saved by the bell, because the shop finally opened and I got my CD exchanged without much fuss.

THEN we have to go towards IGNOU [that's the Indira Gandhi Open University] in located in Saket, so Ravi meets me at Connaught place...and we have a deadline, he's got to have some things fixed up on his examination card and that involves the bureaucracy who are the type that take two hours to complete a 60 minute lunch-break... and we have to travel around 20 kilkometres.. and the time's already 11:45 am and we have to make it to the babu's window before they break for their lunch at 12;30 or thereabouts.... now u just won't believe this.... first he's going okay but doesn't realise that there's a new diversion which he takes by mistake and it sends us back three kilometres... and we're rushing against a deadline...

NEXT we come to a place where the traffic is in an absolute mess because the GREEN light on all sides has got stuck and there's no policeman around .... It was a bloody nightmare at noon....

BUT we manage to make it to the window before munching time and get the papers submitted... and then are told to come back at three o'clock because it's officially the celebrated feeding -the- face hour...and since we're so hungry... we think of going to the IGNOU canteen and all we are able to get is phikka chai [ that's weak tea that looks like dioshwater, tastes like washrags boiled with sugar and has a temperature very muck alike to the Gospel of Saint Luke.... and the patties were as cold as last month's corpse in the local mortuary and tasted like they had been exhumed from the Pyramids... my taste buds reacted so violently that i left the stuff on the table and insisted that we go to Dominoes for some hot chicken Pizza....

and that was the first reasonably decent thing which happend that day...
.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Rustic celebration





On a Diwali eve in a village near Bodh Gaya I sit on a veranda with Nick, the Englishman who founded a charitable trust in this area about ten years ago, working with the poor in this militant-prone district in Bihar. So here I was, returning to Kanjihar village on the invitation of People First, imbibing beer with three of his guests from Blighty, doctors and travellers no less.

Nick goes on about what a unique experience spending Diwali in the backwoods of Bihar is going to be for the visitors, how unlike the synthetic and saccharine stuff that is on display in Delhi. He tells us that we’re all going to be invited down to the village that night as special guests to witness an extremely ‘cultural’ evening that’s being put on by the village folk as part of the Diwali festivities...

After an extraordinarily long wait during which Nick's ever-smiling staff served up a wonderful supper.. we finally set off to the village cultural event..... and then....

The good doctors stared open mouthed at what was obviously a cross-dressing performance... young men dressed as women belting out a 'prayer song' in hoarse, unmusical male voices... and this was followed by a whole lot of hip-shaking to some raunchy Bhojpuri numbers. Bhojpuri is a north indian dialiect spoken in central and north Bihar.

More suggestive dances followed... in true rustic style... with the males cheering on these 'laundas'[dancing boys] from Sasaram. After about twenty minutes of cross-dresser items, two ladies of the night bounced onto the stage. This was just after I had sort of explained to one of the good doctors that guys usually dressed up like girls because women weren't allowed to perform on stage in rural Bihar!!!

These ladies were so obviously entertaining that the audience... males of all ages... went wild, and rupee notes were proferred to them as they gyrated to ribald rustic rhythms...

Well, it was just about all the entertainment we could take, and the doctors and I bade our farwells and departed... as they say, post haste... ....

late summer musings in winter

Yes, this is me... doing what I love doing... pretending to be a DJ... now they're called RJ's and I've been manipulating a record player since I was knee-high to a grasshopper... only now I teach college students how to make radio programmes....

When I was about 13 years old
my class-teacher used to call me frank sinatra
at the time I didn't take it much as a compliment
as I had begun to worship somebody called neil diamond
but by the time i reached my 26th year
I had begun listening seriously to what the man from the mafia had to sing

and one of his songs became my theme for living

and now the time has come
when i must face the final curtain ...
[hell... the rest of the verse just slipped out of my leaky mind]
hmm... of which I'm certain...
but the song says... I did it my way

and that's what i have probably done
throughout my existence

i remember one easter night
when I was about 16
going to church in a pair of old faded jeans
a blue sleeveless vest with a carnation
much to the consternation of my parents
who didn't appear to live down the 'shame'
for about a month!!!

maybe i was a rebel ... but with a whole bucketful of causes

and maybe that's who i still am
maybe slightly mellower
maybe more mature... [mature?? MATURE??? ... er.. I dunno]

so here I am
looking at the September morn .. or the September of my life
not very far away

and I suppose it's gonna be
a very eventful one.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Birthday Eve


The eve of yet another birthday
I wonder... will the hypothetical candles on the cake
start a forest fire??

What thoughts cross my mind on this evening
sitting in a small room in rural Delhi

I've travelled far and wide
trekked around
till my boots bit off my feet

Memories....
flit through on the edge of my mind
like the theme from Cats

Some things are more immediate...
like the realisation that yet another of my friends
or ring of aquaintences
has tested positive for HIV...

I wonder...
Is it what we call the darkness under the lamp??
So many of these friends
Are actively involved in the fight against HIV/AIDS
promoting the use of condoms... safer sex...
and teh thought sometimes darts across my mind..
do we follow our own advice?
Do we actually practice what we preach???

I find it interesting that my birthday
comes before Thanksgiving...
Certainly not an Indian festival..
but my Eurasian upbringing makes the day special

I think theere's sense in giving thanks
for the opportunities, bricks and boquets
life throws at you

This night i fondly remember
all the lovers
the friends
and the so many wonderful people
living in tribal and backward areas
in this sub-continental country
who have made my life richer
and full of adventure...

Thursday, November 17, 2005

reasons to believe

It's getting to be that time of the year again.

The chill in the air
compensated by the warmth in the heart
that starts creeping in at this time of the year.

The Hindu... or should I say Indian festival of Lights
is over... and this year it coincided with
All Saints Day... so i got to celebrate
Hallow's eve and Diwali eve together
in a sleepy little village in Bihar in Eastern India
drinking beer on the terrace with three Englishmen
and afterwards went down to the village
invited to their open air cultural show.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Diwali festival of lights

I was away from my desk
And in a village in Bodh Gaya
the place where a nepalese-Indian prince
sought enlightenment
what netter place to celebrate
the festival of lights???

more on this later